Who is Demi Lardner?
I don’t know what this means!
What would you do differently to what you do now?
Do it way better, or be a stunt double for various child stars – or a creepy old guy who makes furniture from driftwood with a grey ponytail.
Who inspires you and why?
Kyle Kinane – who is my favourite comedian and some kind of weird, gruff genius type fellow.
What would you do to make a difference in the world?
Make beaches illegal – we don’t need them and they are terrible and are the No.1 cause of beached whales and I hate them. Replace them with JB Hi-FI.
Favourite holiday destination and why?
Holidays are stressful. I don’t like a holiday. Too much time to relax and think, which is the enemy. Somewhere with jungles but also comedy clubs and laser tag.
When friends come to town, what attraction would you take then to, and why?
ACMI at Fed Square – so we can play Mario Kart on a big screen like we would if we were inside a house but we don’t have to feel guilty for not being part of culture. Also children crowd around to wait their turn and you get to watch them be dragged away by their parents, all disappointed.
What are you currently reading?
I just finished reading Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty which is amazing because it’s veiled morbidity and nobody thinks I’m insane. It’s about working as a mortician and it’s sometimes super gross and also crazy fascinating. Actually scratch the stunt double thing, I’m a mortician now, I’m gonna cook bodies.
What are you currently listening to?
I just discovered The Meeting Tree and I want to marry and divorce every member of the band. They are wondrous.
Happiness is?
Constant creation and fending off stagnancy, always moving, like a shark, and so much watermelon until I throw up.
What does the future hold for you?
Creation and contentment and enough content that I dont feel guilty playing video games and also 700 more tattoos.
Demi is currently appearing at the Sydney Comedy Festival in Life Mechanic until Sunday 1 May 2016. For more information, visit: www.sydneycomedyfest.com.au for details.
Image: Demi Lardner