Who is Tom Ballard?
Still trying to figure that one out, to be honest. I’ve heard rumours he’s a cheeky 36-year-old homosexual socialist comedian who tries his best to make people laugh and be nice, but that could all be horseshit. I’ll get back to you.
What would you do differently from what you do now?
Go to the gym more, read more, write more, think more, get better at cooking and do more charity work. Unfortunately, I’m unable to do any of those things as I’m simply too busy scrolling on my phone.
Who inspires you and why?
This might make me something of a BASIC BITCH, but: Greta Thunberg. Although she’s subjected to an avalanche of truly unhinged outrage and hatred from the Western world’s right-wing corporate media year after year, she holds steadfast to her principles and to her commitment to making a better world. A hero!
What would you do to make a difference in the world?
If I had all my time again, I would probably finish that law degree (I dropped out after six weeks to tell jokes about my genitals) and try to do something in the fields of human rights law. I love making art and being a performer – and yes, I sincerely believe in the capacity of the arts to make the world a better place – but it also seems to me that the nerds who actually spend the time, money and energy actually reading the relevant textbooks and holding the powerful to account are the ones who can make a serious difference that truly changes peoples’ lives.
Favourite holiday destination and why?
I went to Ireland for the first time last year and it was just the best. Amazing people, incredible history, and stunning natural beauty. I’m heading back there in 2026 for the Kilkenny Comedy Festival, and I can’t bloody wait, to be sure, so.
When friends come to town, what attraction would you take them to, and why?
The Melbourne Star. Give them a good laugh.
What are you currently reading?
I’m trying to read a lot of playscripts, both to learn more about playwriting and also to feel good about myself (because they’re not that long and you can finish a whole “book” in one sitting! Life hack!). I just read Jonathan Spector’s Eureka Day (loved it), and I got a lot out of re-reading Ayad Akhtar’s plays Disgraced and Junk.
What are you currently listening to?
Lawrence’s record Family Business, and anything and everything by Jesse Welles. He is brilliant.
Happiness is?
Making my boyfriend laugh, followed closely by making my nieces laugh. Actually, the best thing is watching my boyfriend make my nieces laugh. That’s good stuff.
What does the future hold for you?
Heaps of touring! My new stand-up show Be Funny Challenge (Impossible) is heading all over Australia at the fringes and comedy festivals, and will eventually end up in Edinburgh. I’m also currently working on three different plays, which is too many. Plus I need to figure out who I am as a person. So – quite a bit.
Tom’s new play, A Comprehensive & Profoundly Queer Accounting of the Brief (Yet GLORIOUS!) History of The Gay & Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands, will be presented at the Gasworks Creative Precinct, as part of the 2026 Midsumma Festival, from 28 – 31 January. For more information, visit: www.gasworks.org.au for details.
Tom’s new comedy show, Be Funny Challenge (Impossible), will be presented across Australia in 2026. For more information, including dates and venues, visit: www.comedy.com.au for details.
Image: Tom Ballard – photo by Ian Laidlaw