On the Couch with Myfanwy Hocking

Myfanwy-Hocking-AAR-On-the-CouchWho is Myfanwy Hocking?
An animal who likes taking ridiculously long showers and then feels guilty for the water wastage. Likes listening to music and cooking and long make out sessions and exfoliating its feet at the beach. It wanted so desperately to hate VR headsets but then tried one and now wants to live inside that alternate reality instead.

What would you do differently from what you do now?
This question doesn’t specify career so l would… um. I want to do pottery classes and take up pole dancing or rock climbing – both of which are way too expensive, so I’ll just stay sat. I’d like to hang out with more bumblebees. Drink less coffee. Go roller skating!

Who inspires you and why?
My sister. She’s silly intelligent and very pretty. We’ve been besties our whole life and we get to still LIVE together in our own apartment which is dope. She’s just incredibly productive and is always trying to expand her mind, learning about new things that excite her. She’s a modern-day polymath, and she still has time to work full time, have a relationship, be immensely kind, and attempt to fix my life.

What would you do to make a difference in the world?
Idk. This question is too profound. I donated plasma the other month which made me feel like the Best Samaritan. It was a pretty tangible way of seeing the difference I was making, watching my blood go in, get centrifuged, then have the red blood cells return to me. I also got a free Nippy’s Choccie Milk to ensure I didn’t pass out so… Yeah. Give plasma if you can, kids.

Favourite holiday destination and why?
I recently got to spend about 30 hours in Amsterdam – maybe the reason I loved it so much was how whirlwind it had to be, but it was unreal. My partner curated the best experience: we went to Vondelpark and then the Miffy shop and got delicious food and frolicked as best friends do. Went to the Moco museum and saw pieces by Yayoi Kusama, Basquiat, Keith Haring and more. Saw the Red-Light-District (and a live sex show lmao). It’s just such a cool, progressive, beautiful city, and I can’t wait to go back.

When friends come to town, what attraction would you take them to, and why?
Sircuit bar. It truly is a macrocosm of the queer experience. You’ve got the Drag stage, the full-on club, and, for some unbeknownst reason, the billiard tables where the veterans of gayness like to exist. It also has a bunch of cuties to smooch if that’s your vibe.

What are you currently reading?
All of Ocean Vuong’s poetry. His control over the English language, (and, I assume, Vietnamese, however I can’t read those bits) is just phenomenal. I believe he is the best poet out there – his skill is simply flawless. If I could one day write even an eighth as well as him, I’d lose my shit (positively).

What are you currently listening to?
Bimini Bon-Boulash’s Release the Beast audiobook, narrated by the Queen them self. I’m not usually a proponent for audio books, but this one needs to be heard in Bimini’s accent. Music wise, Arlo Parks, Bombay Bicycle Club and MARINA.

Happiness is?
Exploring new places with the people I love the most. Overseas in crystal clear waters? Amazing. In the random Victorian town of Glenrowan, walking through an animatronic museum that Disney-fies the Ned Kelly story? Impeccable. Also making and subsequently eating Ottolenghi’s one pot vegan orecchiette puttanesca. Holy mother of God, it slaps.

What does the future hold for you?
Early retirement after immense financial success. I want to be the eccentric Aunt who has travelled a lot and wears too many colours and talks about sex and drugs with my niblings who think I’m just the best.

Myfanwy is the writer of How to Be a Person When the World is Ending – which will be presented in an Australian premiere season from 18 October at Theatre Works, as part of the 2022 Melbourne Fringe. For more information, visit: www.melbournefringe.com.au for details.

Image: Myfanwy Hocking (supplied)