Who is Dr. Martha Tara Lee?
I am Dr. Martha Tara Lee, a Relationship Counsellor and Clinical Sexologist with over 15 years of experience. I believe that sexuality is the last frontier of becoming a fully realized adult. In many cultures, especially in Asia, conversations around sex are still seen as taboo, leading to a lack of proper sexuality education and a myriad of emotional and relational issues. Through my work, I help people confront these challenges and embrace their true selves.
I also consider myself fortunate to have been born in a prosperous, stable country like Singapore. I see it as part of my life’s purpose to support people on their journeys to self-actualization. This mission drives not only my counselling practice but also my creative projects, including my new one-person show Orgasmic AF, where I share personal stories and explore sex as an expression of the self. The show is more than just storytelling; it incorporates comedy and audience interaction, creating a unique, co-created experience for everyone involved.
What would you do differently from what you do now?
In some ways, I’ve already begun doing things differently. While I’ve traditionally reached out to people through writing, speaking engagements, workshops, and counselling sessions, I’m now exploring new, creative avenues like my one-woman show Orgasmic AF. It’s not just a presentation – it’s deeply personal, incorporating my own experiences with sexuality and my mother’s battle with cancer. By allowing myself to be vulnerable and open on stage, I hope to inspire others to embrace their full selves.
What’s different now is that I’m using creative formats like comedy and audience interaction to engage with people in a more intimate and meaningful way. I’m sharing my story not just to entertain, but to demonstrate how we can live authentically and without shame – an essential part of who I am as a sexologist and a human being.
Who inspires you and why?
Eleanor Roosevelt is a significant inspiration to me. Though we come from different backgrounds and lived in very different times, her words, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along,'” resonate deeply. I stumbled across this quote during one of the toughest periods of my life, and it has stayed with me ever since.
Her work as First Lady is equally inspiring. Roosevelt redefined the role, using her influence to advocate for civil rights, women’s rights, and social justice. Her grace, dignity, and dedication to making a difference in the world are qualities I admire and strive to embody in my own life. Through her example, I’ve learned the importance of using whatever platform we have – no matter how big or small – to make the world a better place.
What would you do to make a difference in the world?
As a Relationship Counsellor and Clinical Sexologist, I am already making a difference. People often assume that my work is purely about helping people with their sex lives, but the truth is, it’s about much more than that. I help individuals and couples shed their inhibitions and fears – not just in sex and sexuality, but in life as a whole – so they can live fully actualized, fearless lives. This is especially important in the context of Asia, where sexuality is often shrouded in shame and silence.
I’m proud of the recognition I’ve received for my work, including being named one of the Top 40 Inspiring Women under 40 by Her World in 2010. I’ve also authored four books: Love, Sex, and Everything In-Between (2013), Orgasmic Yoga (2015), From Princess to Queen (2017), and Uninhibited (2022). Each of these books is a tool to help people navigate their sexual and emotional lives with confidence and clarity.
What is your favourite holiday destination and why?
Cambodia is a place that has always felt like home to me, even though Singapore is where I was born and raised. I’ve been to Cambodia twice, and each time, the connection I feel to its history and culture is almost spiritual. The temples, the people, and the sense of peace I find there make it a truly special destination. It’s as though I’ve lived there in a past life.
Another favourite is London, which I’ve visited three times. The city’s rich history and breathtaking architecture fascinate me. Despite its reputation for dreary weather, I’ve been lucky enough to experience London during sunny spells, which has added to its charm. The blend of history, culture, and a vibrant arts scene makes London one of my favourite places in the world.
When friends come to town, what attraction would you take them to, and why?
When friends visit Singapore, I always make a point to take them to Haji Lane, voted one of the most Instagrammable streets in the world. With its colourful murals, unique shops, and diverse cafes, Haji Lane embodies the creative energy of Singapore. It’s a place where you can see how our modern city blends with the vibrancy of various cultures. Whether it’s snapping photos or shopping for one-of-a-kind finds, it’s a favourite among visitors.
Of course, the destination depends on the person. I might also take them to Chinatown or Little India for a deeper cultural experience, or Marina Bay Sands for its stunning skyline and iconic architecture.
What are you currently reading?
I’m always reading about sex and sexuality – both in Asian and international contexts – because I need to stay up-to-date with the latest research and trends. I follow global news as well as publications like The Straits Times, South China Morning Post, and The New York Times, focusing on articles related to sexual health, relationships, and personal development.
I keep a close eye on trends, as I’m often asked to speak at events or contribute to discussions on sexuality and relationships. It’s important for me to remain informed, not just for my clients, but also for the wider community.
What are you currently listening to?
I’m not much of an auditory learner, so I don’t regularly listen to podcasts. When I do, I have to speed them up and keep my hands busy with something else because I tend to absorb information better when I’m physically engaged. This likely makes me more of a kinesthetic learner.
That said, I do enjoy watching TEDx talks, especially around topics like sexuality and personal growth. I also love comedians like Kumar and Jo Koy – comedians who bring cultural insights and humour to everyday life. Their ability to break down complex topics with humour resonates with me, especially given the taboo nature of sexuality in many Asian communities.
Happiness is?
Happiness is living life the way we want, on our own terms. It’s about having the freedom to be who we are, pursue what we love, and create the lifestyle we desire. For me, this often means helping others along the way – whether it’s through counselling, workshops, or my show Orgasmic AF. I find joy in seeing people shed their fears and embrace their authentic selves.
Money, to me, is a means, not an end. True happiness comes from living an authentic life and supporting others in their journeys, not from chasing wealth or material success.
What does the future hold for you?
The future is full of exciting possibilities. I hope to continue touring with Orgasmic AF, taking it to new audiences around the world. The show isn’t just storytelling or comedy – it’s an opportunity to create something unique with each audience. I also want to continue exploring stand-up comedy, as it’s another way to reach people in a raw, honest, and engaging format.
In addition to my creative endeavours, I plan to write another book or two, as I’ve been meaning to do for a while. There’s always more to share, and I’m excited about the potential to keep contributing to the conversation around sexuality, relationships, and personal empowerment.
Dr. Martha Tara Lee presents her show, Orgasmic AF, at The Motley Bauhaus – The Cellar, as part of the Melbourne Fringe, from 14 – 20 October 2024. For more information, visit: www.melbournefringe.com.au for details.
Image: Dr. Martha Tara Lee – photo by Kristin Cornejo