What would you do differently from what you do now?
Haha, you sound like my mother and I’m VERY HAPPY WITH WHAT I’M DOING, MUM, PERFORMING IS A REAL JOB! Oh God, now that other table is looking at us. I’m sorry for yelling. I don’t know why I do this. You’re not going to write down that I’m already crying are you?
Who inspires you and why?
What the hell is taking that kitchen so long? It’s just a focaccia. Sorry, what was the question?
What would you do to make a difference in the world?
I’d write solo shows like End Of that try to make us laugh at the horrors of existence instead of simply weeping into the void. It asks big questions about life and death, faith and grief. At the end of the day life is about – oh, thank you, that focaccia looks great! (It doesn’t.)
Favourite holiday destination and why?
I have an amazing time wherever I am, I’m just a really relaxed and optimistic kinda guy. If I had to pick it would be either Greece or Yarrawonga. Mmmm this smoked oyster focaccia is GOOD!
When friends come to town, what attraction would you take them to, and why?
The whole city! We take every themed walking tour – street art, artisanal chocolatiers, bespoke yoghurters – I want visitors to know how pretentious and ridiculous the people of my city are – and I wouldn’t live anywhere else. How good is this barleycinno?
What are you currently reading?
My mother’s will. She’s still living but I have a lot of notes.
What are you currently listening to?
You mean apart from that screaming child? Honestly, why anyone would bring a toddler to Focaccia Palace is beyond me.
A free lunch. They told you you’re getting this, right? And don’t be stingy with the tip, I have a reputation to uphold.
What does the future hold for you?
Probably a lot of pain. I’m a celiac so I have no idea why I chose this place. It already feels like there’s a turf war going on in my guts. Once I’ve survived that I think the future looks really bright!
Ash has written and performs in End Of. – which will be presented at Northcote Town Hall from 11 March 2020. For more information, visit: www.darebinarts.com.au for details.
Image: Ash Flanders (supplied)